How many times will my son see my parents?
My son is about to turn one. My dad is 72 and my mom is 63. At about one visit a month, the tables give him around 148 more visits with my dad and 259 with my mom. I had never seen that as a number before.
The count
These are averages from a period life table, not a forecast for two real people. The years come from U.S. Social Security Administration period life tables (2022), interpolated by age and sex, capped by the younger person's own remaining expectancy, and multiplied by the pace. Real lives are not averages. Someone you love may far outlive every table, and none of us is promised the average. The full method.
The two paces are my own estimates. We never tracked past visits, and real visits do not land evenly.
What changed
We used to see each of them about once a month, and it varied a lot. Now we see each of them at least twice a month. My dad comes to our place for breakfast every two weeks or so. My mom comes down for lunch about as often. The weekends take turns: one with my mom, one on our own, one with my dad.
These early years for our baby boy are the most memorable by far.
The ledger
Used on purpose.
- Our son's birthday.
- Breakfast at our place with my dad.
- Lunch with my mom.
Tend records what happened, and nothing more.
I cannot add years. I can add breakfasts.